If Tomorrow Never Comes
by Lucy H
Summary: Chandler worries he's taking Monica for granted. [oneshot]


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If Tomorrow Never Comes 

_By Lucy Henson, teacherchez@hotmail.com _

I don't own the characters, and I don't own the song "If Tomorrow Never Comes" first done by Westlife, then by Ronan Keating. 

_Sometimes late at night_

_I lie awake and watch her sleeping_

_She's lost in peaceful dreams_

_So I turn out the light and lay there in the dark_

She's sleeping, tired out after a hard day at work, and then five times. I'm just sitting there, in her bed, watching her. I once caught her doing the same thing to me – years ago, before we started dating. But I don't think it meant anything. I mean Eddie did it once or twice as well. But when I watch Monica sleep, it's wonderful, and it makes me realise that she is the only woman for me. I'd never do anything to hurt her. I love her. I love her so much – I want to spend the rest of my life with this woman. She's wonderful, and we belong together. God, I'm in love.

_And the thought crossed my mind_

_If I never wake up in the morning_

_Would she ever doubt the way I feel_

_About her in my heart_

But does she know that I love her? I've never told her, it's not exactly the kind of thing you blurt out to someone you've only been seeing for a few weeks. I mean, she's my best friend, I love her because of that, and she knows that. But I love her like a man loves a woman. I love her like a girlfriend, like a lover. I don't know if she feels the same way. I blurted out once that she was so great, I loved her, but I managed to pass it off as a joke, I think. She didn't realise anything was up. She reacted weirdly at first. I don't think she feels the same way. 

If tomorrow never comes 

_Will she know how much I loved her?_

_Did I try in every way_

_To show her everyday_

That she's my only one 

She stirs, and opens her eyes. "Chandler, sweetie?" she mumbles, sleepily. "You okay?" I nod, and kiss her gently. She smiles, and kisses me back. "So sweet, y'know that?" she asks, and then her eyes begin to close. I've missed another chance to tell her my true feelings. I sigh, and watch her sleep again. She's cuddled up to me – something I used to hate, but now, I can't bear to be in the same bed as her and not hold her tightly. I need to hold her, to make it real. 

_If my time on earth were through_

_And she must have the world without me_

_Is the love I gave her in the past_

_Gonna be enough to last_

_If tomorrow never comes_

Hours later, she nudges me gently. "Better go, sweetie. Don't want Rachel knowing," she whispers. One last kiss, one last attempt to tell her my feelings. I get as far as "I-I…" and end up finishing with "I'll see you tonight." Never mind. I can tell her later. I promise I will – definitely. The timing will be perfect. I'll go to her apartment, make a meal or something, and tell her I love her. And she'll say the same thing back – won't she?

_Cos I've lost loved ones in my life_

_Who never knew how much I loved them_

_Now I live with the regret_

_That my true feelings for them never were revealed_

I don't want a repeat of Kathy. I never told Kathy what I felt for her, and even though I feel so much more for Monica, I still wonder what could have been. But Monica and I are happy – at the moment, it is just sex, but it will be more; I know it will. Even though that thing with Phoebe was really weird today, Monica just laughed it off. She said that Phoebe didn't find me attractive – kind of insulting, but I know what she means. She means it's no threat to "us". Woah – "us", that makes us sound like a real couple. Chandler Bing is in a relationship, people. This is some kind of miracle.

_So I made a promise to myself_

_To say each day how much she means to me_

_And avoid that circumstance_

_Where there's no second chance_

_To tell her how I feel_

So Phoebe wants to have sexual intercourse tonight? I can handle this – I'm on Monica's team. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I know I am going to tell Monica that I love her. I will – I promised myself that I will. I'm all ready to seduce Phoebe 'til she cracks. She'll go way before I do, cos I've got Monica on my side. I just have to focus on Monica, the woman that I love. I can kiss Phoebe; do anything, because all I have to do is picture Monica in her place, right?

If tomorrow never comes 

_Will she know how much I loved her?_

_Did I try in every way_

_To show her everyday_

_That she's my only one_

But it's so much harder than it sounds. Phoebe wants to take off her clothes and have me rub lotion on her. It's really hard, but I can do anything, because I love Monica. I wanted to tell Monica when I went into the bathroom to get the lotion. I really was going to, but then I noticed she'd cleaned, and I had to comment on that, because she would have been insulted otherwise. But I promise I will tell her – as soon as Phoebe cracks.

_If my time on earth were through_

_And she must have the world without me_

_Is the love I gave her in the past_

_Gonna be enough to last_

_If tomorrow never comes_

Phoebe's not gonna crack, is she? She's kissing me, and I think she's enjoying it. Oh God, Monica's going to be so angry – I can't help it. I push poor Pheebs away. 

"Okay, okay, you win!" I yell. She laughs. "I can't have sex with ya!"

"And why not?" she queries, triumphantly.

This is it. This is the time to announce it. Monica can hear everything I'm saying. "I can't have sex with you because I'm in love with Monica."

She bolts out of the bathroom, and Rachel and Joey appear from behind the door – I never knew they were there. "What?" they all gasp.

"That's right, I – love – her," I say, pointing. I have never been so happy in all my life. "I – love – Monica."

I walk over to her, she walks towards me. "I love you, Monica."

She looks back at me – oh my God, she's gonna say it. She's gonna say it! "I love you too, Chandler."

My mind is going mad. She loves me. Oh, hell, she loves me. My brain doesn't know what to do. I let my lips do the work for me. I kiss her. 

_So tell that someone you love_

_Just what you're thinking of_

_If tomorrow never comes_


End file.
